The Short Fuse

It’s not quite like me to lose my sh!t.

I mean, it happens… It’s just rare. I’ve learned quickly and early that anger was not something I could work with, so I made sure not to make it my personality.

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Either way, sometimes I lose my sh!t

It’s predictable, really. I could probably make an equation out of it.

Tired + sensory overload + something not making sense = nope.

For me, it’s often about computers and technology. Trust me, this girl right here has TRIED. I am just not good at tech or any online stuff really. I have read so many tutorials, watched so many “how-to” videos, spend hours trying to work things out… But I’m not making any sense of it.

So anyway

All that to say that today was #fun because I’ve been trying to figure out something on a website for weeks and I cannot contact anyone and their pages keep making me go in circles.

Cue mad cackling.

I was fine for the first… three weeks or so. But today I have a headache, sensory overload, and that makes a recipe for disaster.

Tired + sensory overload + overwhelm = explosions

I did manage to make an entire blog from nothing and set up so many things thanks to WAY TOO MANY HOURS OF WORK. I’ve had some issues along the way that also resulted in a short fuse situation, but I am still working on it.

Whoever says that spite isn’t enough to drive you is wrong.

Sheer spite. I may not have anger, but I sure have spite.

Okay fine I do have anger, I just have a weird relationship to it, I guess. I’ve seen many bursts of anger in my life and I’m not prone to such things. I could have been, but I made sure to stay far away from that early on in my life.

My body would not be able to sustain anger issues, alright? I am brittle.

What if I let my anger get the better of me in a public situation? I only have words, and I cannot follow up on any threat I could say because I would most likely break a bone before I managed to hurt anyone else.

No thanks.

Instead, I made the healthy choice of spite, bitterness, and silent malice! Much better for everyone, really.

Spiteful, not petty

Watch your words! Those are two different things. I don’t like pettiness. I don’t care about things of little importance, and I don’t get offended easily, if ever. I’m not one to want revenge and I’m too forgetful to hold a grudge anyway.

you’re still here?

I admire your tolerance to monologuing.

I do thank you for your attention, I needed to vent. Either way, I guess I’ll put down the offending website and get back to it after a good night’s sleep. Nothing productive is going to get done about this issue tonight.

I am curious though, does my silly little equation resonate with you? I wonder if this specific trio is a common neurodivergent trigger. My bet at this time would be people who have ADHD and ASD, or maybe it could apply to just ASD itself as well.

I’ll sure have to look into that.